I’m about to lose my shit up in here. The kids are starting kindergarten in just a matter of days, and I’m so disorganized, and we aren’t in our good, early-to-bed routine even remotely, and I’m beginning to wonder what made me think it would be a good idea to enroll them in year round school that begins in friggin JULY. I haven’t even found school supplies yet at a reasonable price. Grrr!

Paul is off doing guy stuff for a bit and I’m all alone with this houseful of rotten children, who are really quite adorable and charming, but who are pushing ALL of my buttons today. Somehow, the living room and kitchen went from spotless (no, really. I even shined my flour cannister and dusted the knife block and vacuumed the ceiling vents, for fuck’s sake) to “looks like a tornado hit it” in about twelve hours time. I can’t even figure out how this happened. We didn’t even eat dinner here last night?

I started to type out all the stupid shit I have to do and clean and pick up and organize and repair and prepare, and it struck me how ridiculous it all is - it’s all just silly, mundane, boring housewife stuff that isn’t going anywhere, and it’s going to be lurking around the corner waiting for me tonight, and tomorrow, and next Tuesday, and next Christmas, and next spring, too. Yet, it still manages to close in on me and crush me with that whole “overwhelming dread” thing.

And I know that I am so, so, SO much happier, more pleasant to be around, and far less yelly when things are organized, running on a tight schedule, and the house is clean. Yet, I can’t seem to get us there and KEEP us there! And this limbo thing we’re doing, between “we’re on summer vacation” and “we’re getting up at the buttass crack o’ dawn to go to school every day” is killing me! I can’t wait until we’re THERE, and we’re past all this chaos and disorder and uncertainty. Can I have the kids buy lunch at school, or will I have to sell my grandma’s jewelry in order to make that happen? Are the lunches remotely nutritious, or will I want to just pack their lunches every day anyway? Will Paul be able to get the kids to school on time, or will I be facing the hairy eyeball every day from the teacher when I go pick them up?

I don’t know why this is stressing me out so much. I think part of it is just that summer break has gone by in a flash. We just got back from our California vacation like five minutes ago! Okay, it was June 1st, but still - it feels like I’m still adjusting to being HOME from vacation! Why can’t I adapt more quickly? Aren’t I supposed to be Supermom and all that? Why is my house in disarray? Why am I buried under laundry a month after getting home?

Kayley’s on her way here, coming home a day early from a family reunion she went to with her dad’s parents. I’m so happy she’s coming home! I know she’s only 12 (almost 13!) but it’s still nice to have a conversation with someone about topics other than Princesses and Caillou and which fruit rollups are the best. At least Kayley and I can talk about her hatred for The Jonas Brothers and look at lolcats together.

I think we’re going to make our own pizzas tonight, à la Mandajuice. All that cheese and fat and olive oily goodness has got to cheer me up, right?

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That’s me!

I really was annoyed the 4th of July celebrations that went on on in my neighborhood. I’m generally not a big party pooper, and I like to host the occasional shindig myself. The block party that went on over here, though, was just nuts! First of all, it wasn’t on my block, so we weren’t invited. Ha! It was on the street you turn on to get to my street - the only entrance/exit we have available to us by vehicle. They always do it up crazy for the 4th, but this year was just - crazy! They had one of those long stainless steel grills you can rent, all full of meat. They had several tables with big, professional looking chafing dishes full of food. They had a huge bouncy castle. They had a full bar set up, with a bartender. There was even a row of porta-potties! It was looking like a lot of fun when I left to go to my parents’ house.

When I came home, however, it was ridiculous! There were cars lining both sides of the main road for blocks and blocks, and people walking down the street and sidewalks towards my little neighborhood like they were on their way to a concert or something! I turned on our street and the entire street was blocked with a wall of teenagers, surrounding a couple of breakdancers. Ha! There was a DJ and a bunch of giant speakers, and they were bumping hip hop so loud it rattled my car windows. I had to iiiiinch my way through a little at a time, and finally the DJ came on the PA and said, “Y’all better get out the road so these cars can get through!” Thanks, Mr. DJ. It looked like a BET video out there! HUNDREDS of people, and about as many teenagers as I see milling about the grassy areas of Kayley’s school at 3 o’clock.

They must have a good illegal fireworks hookup too, because they started shooting off fireworks about 9 p.m. and it didn’t stop until right around 11. It diminished significantly between 10:30 and 11, but for a straight hour and a half, we heard pops and sizzles and booms right outside the kids’ bedroom window about every 20 seconds! The kids were FASCINATED by this at first - we had our own professional looking fireworks show we could watch from their bedroom! But eventually they started to get tired, and scared by all the noise. And the music. And the people shouting and laughing from the sidewalk below.

I can’t even imagine hosting an event of that magnitude. I’ll bet if you combined every person Paul and I know, it wouldn’t total half the amount of people running around outside last night. And…fireworks are illegal in Denver! Yet, they managed to set off big, professional, dangerous fireworks for A LONG ASS TIME and no cops ever rolled by. I went out on our balcony for a minute last night and saw a dozen or so cars parked on the road that runs behind our neighborhood, pulled over so they could watch our fireworks show! Is that just crazy?

And instead of being all, “Woo! Partay! Fireworks!” I’m thinking, “Shut UP already! It’s 11 at night! I don’t need to feel the bass from your speakers in my chest while I’m lying in bed!” Funny how becoming a parent just turns you into a giant crab, huh?

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I’m taking Paul’s cousin’s kid back to Paul’s aunt’s house today. He’s a sweet kid. I like him a lot. My children adore him. He’s polite and helpful and not much trouble at all. However, he’s been here a week and a half. And Paul’s mom was here for 2 weeks before I took her home on Monday. And eventually, one gets to the point where one just has to take a deep breath and say…it’s been nice having you here, but it’s time to get the fuck out.

I have a hard time explaining this thought process to my husband, who grew up surrounded by family 24/7. I think he assumes that because I’m here with the children all day in relative solitude, I must be pining away for companionship. This is not the case. I rather like conversing with small children, or sitting on the couch reading a book, or walking around without a bra on. I don’t need a TV watching buddy; really, I don’t. I’m MORE than happy to let the kids watch an hour or so of Noggin and then turn the TV off for the next five hours. That never seems to happen when we have houseguests. I always end up passively watching a thousand episodes of House Hunters and A Shot At Love and other shows that don’t enrich my life in any way.

I’ve noticed that whenever I have to deal with any sort of disruption in my life at all, I do quite well with it. I’m mellow, easygoing, and I pretty much go with the flow. However, I seem to have a specific, premeasured portion of patience, and once it’s gone, that’s just IT, man. And evidently, I have reached that point where my patience meter needs a reboot!

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I mentioned before that Paul’s cousin’s teenage son is staying with us for awhile. During the past week that he’s been here, we took him to McDonald’s - he’d never, ever been there before. We took him to Hooters - his first time ever. And yesterday, we went to Sonic, where he proclaimed that their food was, “like, the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

Today, I was busy cleaning downstairs, so I left him alone. He slept until almost noon, and then video chatted online with his friends back in Cali for about four straight hours. When he told me what he’d been up to, I said I felt bad for being such a bad influence on him. We were out running an errand and I said, “Want me to buy you some liquor and pornography on our way back home?” He said, “Actually, I would LOVE THAT!” Haha!! He said he’d be “totally down with” getting a tattoo and a lip piercing, too.

Don’t worry. I let him sleep in late and play video games, but I made him eat healthy food and shower every day, too. I’ve still got to be a MOM, y’know!

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I thought this was pretty funny …

the other day, I was Googling “Yo Gabba Gabba” images, trying to figure out what DJ Lance Rock’s tennis shoes look like. During my searching, I found this image:

Haha!

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Mallory counting chalk hearts., originally uploaded by lalagirl.

Yesterday was such a splendid day! Both sets of grandparents came over and spent the day with us. We grilled steaks and sat outside on the patio for hours and hours.

The kids were worn OUT when I took them upstairs for a bath at 9:30 p.m. They were covered in grass stains, chalk dust, food residue, and sunscreen. Mmmmm! They slept pretty good, though, and now it’s a brand new week.

This week marks the beginning of Operation Strict Routine. The big kids start kindergarten NEXT WEEK and we’re still fully in summertime mode. We’re going to start going to bed early, getting up early, and keeping with the regular (read: non-fun, non-summertime) schedule to get them ready for Back to School.

Yeah. Short ass summer break, there! The new school is year round, hence the early start date. Do they even have school supplies in the stores yet? I don’t think they do. I’ll be buying that stuff last minute, I’ll bet, holding out for the cheap Back to School prices!

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John, Laura, John, originally uploaded by lalagirl.

So, remember last Friday, I went out and met my old friend John and had a super time hanging out with him? I ended up meeting him once again last night, along with our other buddy John too! I haven’t seen THAT guy in well over a year - it was so great to see him and catch up a little!! The three of us hung out together all the time when we were in college. And as much fun as it is to reminisce about the old days, it sure makes me feel fucking old! I seriously don’t feel like 18 years has passed since we all started hanging out together.

I think we’ve aged pretty well, don’t you??

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I’m having such a splendid day. Kayley and cousinchild and I went over to Hooties for lunch with the mister. On our way home, we stopped at Hot Topic and I got a hoodie and a t-shirt for the two youngsters off the clearance rack. I’ve accepted the fact that I am far too old to rock the Hot Topic clothing, so I didn’t buy anything for myself. I did, however, get myself a new keychain, which I’m completely giddy about:

I heart Yo Gabba Gabba (it’s possible you’ve picked up on this) and I almost screamed like a little girl when I saw that they had YGG keychains. Squee!

AND, I’ve got babysitters for the evening, so I’m going to go to Happy Hour AGAIN with my hubby. Two Fridays in a row! Whose life is this? I see cheap draft beer in my future!

P.S. I’m almost done painting Plex the Robot, and then I shall be DONE DONE DONE with the playroom! Well, done except for the repair I need to do where Pablo got into the damned paints while we were gone to lunch today. D’oh! I can’t get mad at that little puddin’, though - he painted like five stars with smiley faces in them, along with his name. If he’d done it on the wall instead of on A TABLE, I would just leave it. But, we like our furniture to look like furniture, so it’s got to go.

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Pablo got Kayley with the hose., originally uploaded by lalagirl.

We were enjoying a nice summer evening outside, watching Paul mow the grass. Pablo was playing with the hose, using it to clean sidewalk chalk off the bricks, when all of a sudden he lifted the hose and sprayed water in Kayley’s direction. She let out a shriek, which he found to be hysterically funny, so he got up and CHASED HER across the patio with the hose, completely drenching her with water.

This was about the funniest thing I think I’d ever seen. Something about seeing a 4-year-old chasing a 12-year-old, laughing like a maniac the whole time, just cracked my shit up. I couldn’t stop laughing. Kayley was THRILLED by this! She gave me a big bear hug before she went inside for a shower!

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$5 off Luvs coupon available starting today! Go here for details.

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